the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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