She's JV to your varsity
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize