I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
