Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
