i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
