On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the raccoons are back...
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