Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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