Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
