we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
