Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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