I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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