What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
