why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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