You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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