i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
