Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
