Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
