Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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