So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
