You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
