dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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