Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
