I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
