spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
