this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
