Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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