i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize