at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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