If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
