Where is the hickey?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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