Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
