So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sarcasm needs its own font
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize