to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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