doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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