If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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