im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
