He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
