I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
