This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
