"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I supernannyed him into submission
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
