He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
