About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
