We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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