She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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