don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
