Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
