I think I am morally bankrupt
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
