It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
