I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
