If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
