Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
