i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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