Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
