He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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