it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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