im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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