but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
