Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
