Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
