addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
