just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
