He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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