Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
