If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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