Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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