I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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